overdue rambles

While writing this post, i am listening to Josh Groban's songs. I found his songs to be calming and i will end up thinking of so many things including reminiscing the past. I guess this is pretty natural for most people. I am taking this opportunity to reflect back of my life and i am way lucky that it is never too late to do things that I love to do.
However, when i am in this so and so mood, i would prefer to be alone. Doing things that i love the most such as
1) listening to either one of these - Josh Groban, Athlete, Keane, Sarah Mclachlan,
2) with the yellow light - dimmed
3) reading a novel which i end up day dreaming/reading the same line all over and over again
4) drinking coffee
5) usually it will rains / at night
6) or jotting down in my so called - the black book aka diary
7) staring at the ceiling
8) thinking of everything
9) repeating the same song over and over again - and at this very moment Caruso by Josh Groban
10) resetting goals in life ( this sounds pretty serious but it changes all the time)
11) to be in a room
i do not have a fix mind as i have the tendency to be very spontaneous. but again nothing is predictable nowadays.
These are among the things that make me occupied when i am down and out.
However, the best treatment so far that always work for me is to do some house cleaning. When the house is extra clean, that means something is really occupying my mind. I have developed this habit of cleaning, rearranging things when something is really bothering me. Well, it works most of the time. But it gets depressing while doing it and the mind is like fast forward video which come to an extent of swirling towards uncertain decision/conclusion. I think i might go crazy one day..but amazingly i survived! Ironic.
I don't really care about what people think. I rather live in my world. Drowning further down each day. Really? Perhaps. This is again ironic. and one might ask how come? Well, there is nothing to be discuss. as a friend once mentioned, it was all in the mind. Perhaps. again? yes perhaps. It gets confusing when things happened. Or perhaps i think too much. i get tired of thinking. But it keeps coming back. I tried to go up to the surface and live the life. I do.
Ah again easier said than done. I guess i've been thinking too much. these are all unnecessary. In the end, life is like that. Gotta live through it.
Enjoy it to the fullest. :)