Lesson learned...

I shall start with…what a cruel world out there…
Who knew it would turn out this way. The person you thought your friend, who will go out down and out with you, who will support you has long gone. I’ve forgotten that these kinds of people EXIST! Yes they do. I guess I shouldn’t expect too much though. But truth is I was hurt with the selfishness occurs. Well, in return I’m going to prove that I’m a bulletproof! ;)

overdue rambles

While writing this post, i am listening to Josh Groban's songs. I found his songs to be calming and i will end up thinking of so many things including reminiscing the past. I guess this is pretty natural for most people. I am taking this opportunity to reflect back of my life and i am way lucky that it is never too late to do things that I love to do.
However, when i am in this so and so mood, i would prefer to be alone. Doing things that i love the most such as
1) listening to either one of these - Josh Groban, Athlete, Keane, Sarah Mclachlan,
2) with the yellow light - dimmed
3) reading a novel which i end up day dreaming/reading the same line all over and over again
4) drinking coffee
5) usually it will rains / at night
6) or jotting down in my so called - the black book aka diary
7) staring at the ceiling
8) thinking of everything
9) repeating the same song over and over again - and at this very moment Caruso by Josh Groban
10) resetting goals in life ( this sounds pretty serious but it changes all the time)
11) to be in a room
i do not have a fix mind as i have the tendency to be very spontaneous. but again nothing is predictable nowadays.
These are among the things that make me occupied when i am down and out.
However, the best treatment so far that always work for me is to do some house cleaning. When the house is extra clean, that means something is really occupying my mind. I have developed this habit of cleaning, rearranging things when something is really bothering me. Well, it works most of the time. But it gets depressing while doing it and the mind is like fast forward video which come to an extent of swirling towards uncertain decision/conclusion. I think i might go crazy one day..but amazingly i survived! Ironic.
I don't really care about what people think. I rather live in my world. Drowning further down each day. Really? Perhaps. This is again ironic. and one might ask how come? Well, there is nothing to be discuss. as a friend once mentioned, it was all in the mind. Perhaps. again? yes perhaps. It gets confusing when things happened. Or perhaps i think too much. i get tired of thinking. But it keeps coming back. I tried to go up to the surface and live the life. I do.
Ah again easier said than done. I guess i've been thinking too much. these are all unnecessary. In the end, life is like that. Gotta live through it.
Enjoy it to the fullest. :)

;)

check this out!!!!!!

http://ph.news.yahoo.com/afp/20101121/tls-vatican-religion-pope-germany-book-s-aeafa1b.html


Pope says condoms acceptable 'in certain cases': book

What a week..it was a notably busy week. With a lot of datelines and catching up after 2 weeks of holiday. On Monday itself, i was called for a brief meeting. It was a short one and kinda feel thrill a little for i had an access to the inside information. ;) However, I was then, to my astonishment, well more to a surprised of the information i've gotten. I began to reflect on what i've done and realized that it was none other than a waste of my time. I've decided to let it go and will not give a heck of it! I sounds bitter because it is in fact a bitter fact!

Ok, i should move on! There is no point thinking about it! I guess this time i gotta play hard! My next plan would be pursuing my studies to a higher level! Should i say the highest? :D i am really excited and keen to pursue! i can't wait to be called a Dr. i would say this is the best REBOUND ever! hehehe...

Perfect Union

Striding towards the perfect crimson,
Pushing hard the total terrors.
The beginning of the real journey.
is in for the indecisiveness;
Influences the major Errors.
The angry heat,
The gushing winds,
The rolling thunders!
All come at once in protesting the indefinite decisions.
Flopping, weakly down the earth,
Things started to make sense.
Nothing can be done
To reverse back the time.
The heat continuously shows its anger!
And the winds wooing,
Silence hovering and the earth is speechless
and clueless and knows it is pointless.

The nights blackened –
Thickened by doubt -
Blanketed by fear,
The lights seemed to dim
For the darkness continue to clutter.

27.05.09
Aisyah

he was there in my dreams and he was smiling at me..
he didn't say a word but the smile on his lips was comforting and pleasant in a very meaningful way..
i long to have a conversation with him just to hear his voice..
but it is most unlikely to happen..
he has left us all two days before the Tsunamis..

i've grown up having him around and had been so clingy to him
having him trying to comfort me with his soothing words will automatically calm me down..
he was the man i can really rely on

i long to have him around..

May he rest in peace...

the reliability and assurance

a strong connection,
words that confuse people a lot and at the same time bring peace once it is achieved.