:)

I had a long talk with the person i love the most. The person whom all my respect goes to. The beginning of the conversation was more in catching up with the latest gossips and to ease her boredom by initiating some 'interesting' topics that she would stay focus in talking.

That particular person was a little bit down and seems distracted at first. Which i personally know why. Perhaps loneliness is killing her. Several attempts to cheer her up with some silly stories were successful. (Thank God) This is the moment i pity her the most although i never really tell her what i feel. I wish i could be with her... Then our topics varies, moving from one to another.

However, towards the end, she told me that she was hoping that what had happened will never happen again. My heart goes out to her. She is such a strong lady and i would do anything for her even if it cause my life. She is the one who is there for me when i am down and out, and at the lowest point of my life. I can never repay her patience, endless support, guidance and her care even though i had, several time picking fights with her just to make her mad.

I realize something that, what she has, i also have it in me. It is in the gene...
i had found some similarities and it touches my heart.

I had vow the day she saved me from all the miseries that had clouded my life, i will always be there for her.

All the things that i'm doing, i dedicate it to her.
For she means the world to me.

in a state of consciousness

It has been a rough journey. The most well-known phrase applies here, "Nothing comes easy"! I will not elaborate further. It freaks me out because i've been too careful lately. But again, one can't be too careful. So? i've no idea either but to leave it all to The Almighty.

If looking into things from the eyes of Freud, one would say "the outcomes is the result of the past" but is it fair to say that? Don't you think the present plays it role as well? What about looking it from the eyes of Carl Jung's? a little bit of past and also present, it helps a little. I am prone to Jung's so far because his theory rather makes sense. But it is again not applicable to all situations. One gotta look hard because consciousness sometimes can lead to an unconscious action.

There, here i go again...rambling consciously..

'r u sure it is conscious?'
perhaps.
perhaps?
i don't know.
u mean?
i am not sure.
what kind of conversation is this?
a conscious one?
:D
crazy!
and the mind goes berserk!
why?
to know the unknown.
wtf?
heheh..
i don't understand it myself.
speaking from someone who is in the state of maximum blurriness
why can't you be more straightforward?
because i don't understand it myself.
and why is that?
i think i've change.
change?
yes.
why?
got to be alert tho.
alert? of what?
everything.
such as?
things.
sigh.
yeah. :)
so?
gotta pray hard.
:)
and play hard.
u think so?
perhaps.
i'm confuse.
me too.
:D
but,
yeah?
i'm ready.
u mean?
i don't know. i think.
so u r not so sure?
nope.
what a messy mind.
thought it is clearer now?
clearer?
u r one entangled mind.
you think too much.
i'm a thinker.
hahaha..i reckon!
:D
so, what's on ur mind?
Sade.
Buble.
Groban.
kinda depressing.
not really.
Buble is in love.
Sade?
she is always in her sober mood.
Groban.
ah, an old fav.
:)
so,
yeah?
speechless.
then?
i don't know.

*a monologue written due to the Monday blues! but the blues continue...

:)

Fix you

Fix you - Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...


Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Lost in Space by Lighthouse Family

Sometimes I get tired of this me-first attitude
You are the one thing that keeps me smiling
That's why I'm always wishing hard for you

'Cause your light shines so bright
I don't feel no solitude
You are my first star at night
I'd be lost in space without you

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

Feels just so fine
When we touch the sky me and you
This is my idea of heaven
Why can't it always be so good?

But it's all right, I know you're out there
Doing what you've gotta do
You are my soul satellite
I'd be lost in space without you

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

*An old times favourite :)